If you leave it up to the audience, they can kill you.

Fight with myself till I'm bleeding

There is this one girl who comments on all my husbands posts. In her head they are BFFs, maybe more idk. She is 6 years younger than we are, red hair and glasses. Looks kinda froggy, large forehead. I looked at her profile only because she comments so much that I'm sorta "oh god" when I see she has once again added her two cents. I don't know if once, at one point, X actually responded to her, and this fueled her delusion. If he hasn't, then I don't really understand her. Why would you insistently respond to a celebrities posts with no response? Insanity? Oh if it was that simple. I'm reading I'm With The Band, Confessions of a Groupie and in the first chapter Pamela DeBarres acts similar to the girls today. She was in love with the Beatles and would write them letters and do what might of been the 1960s version of fanfic with her friends. Write stores about them as the wives/lovers of The Beatles. I'm reading this and thinking, god nothing has changed and nothing ever will. The strange thing is, I never acted like that. I never wrote to a celebrity. I didn't have photos of rock stars in my locker as a teen. I had a mirror and unusual things that I found artistic/strange/interesting.

I have one gift that I refuse to open. It's from my mother and I have no idea what it is. I haven't really figured out why I refuse to open it. Do I think that the spirit of Christmas will live on as long as I have one more gift to open? Do I just not really care what it is? Am I saving it for when I need a pick me up? I'm just not sure. I think right now I feel that I got more than I deserve and perhaps I will never open it. She did ask me if I liked the sweater she got me and I don't recall getting a sweater. The weird thing is it is square, but not really clothes box size. I just don't know what I'm doing, but that should be the theme for my life. lol.

Christmas is quite.

I'm not in a good place. I'm anxious. I just nearly lost it listening to I'll be home for Christmas. I'm sad and scared and worried. I'm stuck. I need to get out of here, but in doing so am I running away from one person who loves me? Sometimes I think I need help, but I don't think I could handle being in a facility. I also don't think I should drink. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Answer in song lyrics

 Yourself:: She stepped off the bus out into the city streets Just a small town girl with her whole life Packed in a suitcase by her feet- Fallen Angel Poison or Yeah, my girlfriend takes me home when I’m too drunk to drive And she doesn’t get all jealous when I hang out with the guys She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does She brings me mexican food from sombrero’s just because (yeah, just because)- Josie Blink 182

 Your friends:: I don't want your big city rising, I don't want your sliver lining, I don't want to be a tattooed millionaire- Tattooed Millionaire Bruce Dickinson. or And I played guitar in a long-haired rock and roll band She asked me why the singers name was Alice I said listen, baby, you really wouldn't understand- Be my lover Alice Cooper

 Your crush/bf/gf.:: Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man- Tiny Dancer

Are you a guy or girl?: Early one mornin' the sun was shinin', I was layin' in bed Wond'rin' if she'd changed at all If her hair was still red.-Tangled up in Blue Bob Dylan

 Where do you want to be right now?: Well I never thought I’d make it here in Hollywood... I never thought I’d ever Want to stay... What I seem to touch these days has turned to gold... What I seem to want, Well you know I’ll find a way- After the glitter fades Stevie Nicks

 Describe how you feel right now: Hello, welcome to the show Thought we broke up years ago What's up, I just shit my pants Gambled and I lost Good times, just blew out my knee I've fallen and I can't get up Oh shit, I think I broke my back Where's the wheelchair? -Falling apart Lagwagon

 Give me a word of advice:: Some friends become your enemies, some friends become your family, take the best with what your given, some say die but this is living.- Good Charlotte

Tell me something uplifting:: Give me a chance to shine and I will blind the world, take a stand be the voice of those who cannot be heard.- Transplants

I didn't run away to come home the same.

From the mixed-up files of Mrs. Basil E Funkweiler