Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I'm not after fame and fortune

I'm after you.
I have many random scenarios where I think I'd be more content. The first being a Lady or Dutchess, some lower lying Society women who gets to own a country estate. I don't want a castle, but merely a manor house. Again what it is that I will do all day that cements this idealistic life is unclear. The daydream usually ends with my realization that I'd be in the situation as I am in now.
I realize that in these daydreams I often am held up somewhere, be it The Plaza or my estate. I don't want to see anyone, but I still want them to see me. It's a rough life when you want your cake and it eat it as well.

I've decided that I need more make up. I have plenty and usually end up using the same dark eye make up my husband wears on stage. I also want new hair, but I can't decide what. I think my hair suites me, but right now I'm not suiting myself. I like pretty clothes, but tend to again feel most like myself in worn out t shirts and jeans. I wear vans a lot since I take them off a lot too and run around in my socks. I think it's pretty safe for me to not have shoes on backstage or before the show opens. Sometimes I go waltzing around the venue up to the nose bleed section during sound check. Once I stayed out too long and was trapsing around up there, backstage pass on and nothing special on. The two girls were sitting in their seats. They were pretty, long hair young and thin, probably too much eyeliner and a septum pricing. They looked at me like I was crazy and one of them asked, "who are you?"

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