Christmas is quite.

I'm not in a good place. I'm anxious. I just nearly lost it listening to I'll be home for Christmas. I'm sad and scared and worried. I'm stuck. I need to get out of here, but in doing so am I running away from one person who loves me? Sometimes I think I need help, but I don't think I could handle being in a facility. I also don't think I should drink. I just don't know what to do anymore.